Pre Op. All systems yellow. Proceed with Caution.

We had our appointments with the Neurosurgery clinic and anesthesiology today. Poor little Mercedes didn't like being poked and prodded. I told her that today looks like a vacation compared to the next few days, so she better just get used to it! She got a pass from neurosurgery, with the caveat that anesthesiology will have to clear her as well.

Keeping a baby healthy October/November has proven to be a little difficult. A few weeks ago she had a little cold. Then her sisters and brothers got a stomach bug, which she avoided thankfully, and then we had to go to the opthamologist to make sure her clogged tear duct wasn't infected. A week before surgery everything was looking good, then Monday she came down with another cold! So we headed off to anesthesiology fully prepared to hear come back in six weeks. And we almost did.  The nurse anaesthetist listened to her lungs and couldn't really tell if the rattling came from her lungs or her sinuses. We suctioned her nose and she listened again and all was clear-ish. The Anesthesiologist felt comfortable saying go ahead with the surgery, but watch to make sure she doesn't develop a cough, a fever or any thick green mucous. She said that if it were her daughter she would go ahead with the surgery, so we are. So continued prayers for Mercedes immediate health are much appreciated. Taking her out of her element and off of her naps schedule doesn't really help to keep her happy and healthy. But as we have said many times, this is in God's hands and if for some reason the surgery isn't meant to be tomorrow, we will accept that. He has yet to lead us astray!

Currently we are doing ok. We are both nervous, but again trusting everything will work out for the best. To bide his time, Tim is at the movie Ender's Game with my dad. Afterall, "This is my vacation!" Speaking of my dad, my parents came to Iowa City today for a meeting with my dad's foundation. They wanted to stay and be there for us tomorrow. Which happens to be exra awesome because we didn't get into the Ronald McDonald house today. We are on a waiting list for tomorrow, so hopefully that works, but in the meantime we are hanging out with them and will stay in their hotel about 25 minutes away. So thankful for this special blessing.

A look toward the future...
Tomorrow we need to be at the hospital at 6am. They will get us checked in and ask us the same questions three times (their words, not mine!). Then they will take Mercedes away at 7:15 to get prepped for surgery. They said we might be able to go back and be with her till she is under. THEN they described the process. No thank you, I don't think I want to watch that!  They will start surgery about 9:15 and update us about half way through. It is about a two hour surgery. Then she will be taken to a recovery room where we can be with her and will meet with the neurosurgeon to hear how it all went. When it is all said and done she will have the fused portion of the bone cut out and slits cut in the side of the skull to allow room for brain growth. She will also have one or two blood transfusions. We will get transferred to the pediatric intensive care unit for about a day and then moved to the pediatric floor for a few more days. The total hospital stay will be about 5 days. Obviously we will know more as time progresses, but I wanted to get you up to speed.

Tim and I are both on our cell phones and emails and are happy to receive calls, texts, emails etc. If we can answer we will, but please understand if we don't respond right away. We will get back to you when we can. Otherwise we will try to keep everyone updated with progress via the blog. It will be impossible/exhausting to call everyone so this seems to be the best way to communicate the endeavours of Little Miss Mercedes.

Cranio Synowhat?

Mercedes was born in July 2013. Shortly after her birth we noticed a bump on the back of her head. The doc said it was just a bruise from normal birth trauma and it should go away. Well the bruise went away but beneath it grew a large protrusion. We thought initially that blood was pooling under her skin from the bruise and the birth trauma so we wanted to get it checked out. We got a referral to a neurologist. After six weeks of waiting for that appointment (no rush there!) and a referral for a CT scan, we found out that our daughter has a condition called Cranio Synostosis at the midline suture. Basically babies are born with four plates making up their skull that are all separated from one another so as to allow the brain room to grow causing a soft spot. Mercedes midline suture is fused togther prematurely. This is evidenced by a ridge where the plates have fused, basically eliminating her soft spot and have caused her head to have the shape of a football. We (I) call her my little egg head and I think a heisman trophy pose picture is necessary.

But I digress. Surgery is  necessary to remove the fused parts and allow for her brain to grow properly. Surgery is scheduled for November 8th at a prominent children's hospital in Iowa. We are very blessed to be working with one of the best surgeons and are very confident that Mercedes will be O.K.

The Path

I realize that this blog used to be just cutsie stories about my family and pictures. Well that didn't work too well. See: four posts in the last two years. However, lately random blog titles have been popping into my head and I figure, I have a blog, why not write down the post that goes with the title. Viola! See: four blog post in the past four months (so far with none of the titles that initially popped into my head being used!). Now I ain't promising anything, but this is working as an outlet for me right now, so we will ride that wave. I have come to realize that wanting to write a blog is not the same as wanting people to read a blog that I write. If people read what I write, bonus!

So back to the title in my head:

I have my good days and my bad days. With my good days normally lending themselves to thinking about how I felt on my bad days and my bad days lending themselves to wishing I was having a good day. I have to remember that my days aren't good days or bad days, they are just MY days. Its just that when my days are hard, I seem to think that every day is going to be hard. That this is my life. And I am just a crabby person. Who is lazy. And doesn't like children. Who is a terrible mother. And I will always be like this from this day forward, for the rest of my life, the end. On the days that go smoothly, especially if "a good day" comes after having a "bad day"(which it seemingly always does) I think, now don't you feel silly for thinking that you will never be a productive/happy/loving/good mom ever again. The trick is, I tell myself, to REMEMBER on my bad days that I did once have a good day, and I will once again have a good day.Then my bad days won't be so bad.  But I am beginning to see that my days aren't divided into good days and bad days, they just are my path.

I read an obituary recently that said "...may you always remember that obstacles in the path are not obstacles, they ARE the path." My sister has said this to me a couple of times as well. This begs the question, what is the path and where is it leading. For me this answer is simple. The path is this life that I live and it is leading me to heaven and sainthood. Patrick Coffman from Catholic Answers has a tag line, "Be a saint! What else is there?" My good days can often fill me with pride and my bad days can often fill me with despair. So the trick I must really REMEMBER is not to just get through my bad days to get to my good days. And not just think about how awesome I am on my good days, and ponder how to avoid at all cost having a bad day. But to see each day as a part of the journey. Each day can offer something to me to help me reach my fullest potential and be the person I am supposed to be (a saint!). Whether that is joy and humility (good day) or  suffering and self sacrifice. All of these qualities are good and will lend themselves well as I proceed along my path.

Oh and another thing- acceptance is key. If I can, on my bad days, just accept the fact that I am having a hard day and change my course of action I will, ultimately, be better off. If on a harder day I pull an audible, if you will, do something different than my plan; put in a movie, splurge for ice cream or pizza (or both), I will  be far better off than if I just charge ahead come what may. Because if this obstacle that I see (my bad day) is really the path, and I am really giving my life to Christ, then he planned this day for me. It is a gift just like every other day I have, so I better use it for his glory. And wishing it away, or making it something it is not does not sound like using it for his glory. Pizza however, that does sound glorious!

While it is easier to see my good days as the path and not an obstacle, that doesn't make everything that happens on a good day worthy of praise. In fact, it is often said Pride goes before the fall!  Proverbs Chapter 16:18-20 "Pride goes before disaster, and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be humble with the meek than to share plunder with the proud. He who plans a thing will be successful; happy is he who trusts in the LORD." No wonder my good days are often followed by bad! HA!  So if I can, on my good days just accept with joy the gift of the day and make my best use of it to his glory (who knows, that might mean pizza too) then maybe I will begin to see my days as just the path and not obstacles in it.

While I am sorry that I didn't post any cute pictures for your viewing pleasure, I did post plenty of links for your reading enjoyment!!

Vacation at the Amana Colonies

About the middle of April we found a groupon for hotel stay at a waterpark in the Amana Colonies. Originally we booked it thinking we may go with some of my siblings or parents. However, as the events unfolded, we were the only ones to purchase this groupon and it appeared we would be going solo. As much as we love my family and would have been happy to have them there, we started to get excited about having our own little family vacation. We were about a month out from my due date, expecting our fifth, so a little time away for some R & R was just what the doctor ordered!

We left on a Saturday morning for Williamsburg, about an hour and a half away. The trip was uneventful. We felt very blessed to be starting off on this little family adventure. Even though it was only a hundred miles away we were about to disconnect for about four days and the thought was very exciting!

We couldn't check into our Hotel until 4pm, so we decided to visit the Amana Colonies first. We bought tickets that let our whole family into four museums for only $14. There are about seven villiages on a 17 mile loop, and we were able to hit all of them on this first day. Spending time in two free Museums, and three of the ones that we paid to get in. It was a long day but we had a great time learning about this unique history in Iowa. We went back for one more day, hitting the rest of the museums and seeing the sights. If you have never been the the Amana Colonies, I do recommend it. It was fun and the kids have already asked to go back!

We stayed in the Wasserbahn Water Park Resort and the kids were impressed. They couldn't get enough of the swimming, except for the fact that the water was freezing! This was pretty much how we spent our vacation. Going to the Amana Colonies and swimming. We were also very close to Iowa City so we took a walk down memory lane seeing Mommy's old college and dorm. We walked around Kinnick. Justice was insistent that Nana and Papa B. were in the stadium, which was pretty funny!

All in all, it was a great vacation and we had a wonderful time!

Expectation: The Greatest Killer of Joy

Sometimes life gets a little out of control. I get that. It has been out of control at my house for several years. Yep, you read that right, several. That means many. Exactly how many, well I am not quite sure- see the part about being out of control. Working pretty much full time for friends and family while at the same time housekeeping and homeschooling really made my life just crazy . If you know anything about me, you know I like to be in control, to have it all together. So yes, I was very stressed and had become a bit of what I like to call "monster mommy". So after eliminating everything except the homeschooling and housekeeping I figured out something interesting... I was still stressed and my life still felt out of control and I was still monster mommy. I actually asked Tim if I could hire a maid. You can about imagine his response. "Really?!?!" Or something to that effect. After I stewed about how insensitive to my needs he was, I realized he was right. There really wasn't anything more I could eliminate. That eliminating things wasn't the solution. It hadn't helped and it wasn't going to help. I could take away everything but until I just surrendered to my situation I was still going to find something to be stressed about.

So in the past few months I have realized that I am stressed mainly because of two things. My kids aren't perfect. I am not perfect. And instead of continuing to expect perfection out of them and me, I realized I just need to change my expectations. Afterall, expectation is the greatest killer of joy! With the changing of my expectations I have realized two things. I am not nearly as stressed and I am no longer monster mommy. My kids are still not perfect, but they aren't monsters either. Just because I don't expect perfection doesn't mean we aren't striving toward being the best people we can possibly be.

It has been refreshing not living life constantly stressed and always a moment away from break down. I am so thankful for friends and family that have helped me through some tough times over the past few years. As we look to embark on a new year, I really don't know what the future will hold. I do know that I will curb my expectations and be thankful for this life God has gifted me. To quote a recent blog post I read- it doesn't get any better than this! You can keep the expectations, I will take the JOY!!!!

Homeschool Tumbling Recital

Every year for the past four years our children have participated in the recital for Homeschool Tumbling. An organization which has been around for the past 20 years in our area. Our kids go once a week, during the school year, to practice their tumbling skills. At the end of the year there is a recital and each class does a routine. This year, Peyton and Ronni were in a class togethr, and Felicity was in her own class. On top of that Peyton was selected to be in another performance of all boys. So our children were in three routines, as well as nieces and close friends who participated as well! It was such a fun recital and each year just promises to be more and more exciting.

This event sure does make for an "exciting" April (read busy), with classes Tuesdays and Thursdays to practice their regular routine, and then an extra practice on Wednesday for Peyton's special. Busy or not, we are so blessed to be able to participate in this program.

This year the theme for the recital was Our Town.

This is our kids the evening after the first performance- they were so nervous they didn't eat before hand so they came home and ate their dinner at 10:30 at night!

Felicity, the youngest redhead, getting her hair fixed before the performance. She is a Chef.

 

Peyton, the only boy, is  Diner in the first pictures, and then his special, Highway Patrol. Yep he got the badge and the hat, not the gun or handcuffs though. While I think this is a smart decision, he was a little bummed.

 

 

 

 

Veronica, the oldest redhead girl, is also in the diner performance with Peyton.

Normally it is so easy to pick my kids out of the routine, the red hair you know. Not so easy this year with the hats!

 

Peyton is the boy in the very front. Rockin his headstand. His dad is so proud.

 

Justice was not to be outdone... Here he is at Nana and Papa Burke's the second night of the show. He got a sleepover with his cousin Jon. We were very thankful for that!

Timothy- the oldest child in our family (totally kidding :) even got in on the fun. He was a Newsie.

Tim impressing the audience with his awesome headstand!

You may notice the bearded man he is holding up in the sugar bowl, that is our very own Uncle Matt!  

Hey! Down in front! Tim is on the left hand side, and Matt is on the right.

 As I mentioned, we had some friends and cousins in the performane as well, here are some pictures of their performances.

The Cousins

 

Group Shot

 

 Bethany in her "special", Ice Cream Shop.

 Bethany winning one of the Student of the year prizes.

Madeleine and Emma in their Hospital routine... Madeleine is the girl doing the splits in the front and emma is on one of the human stretchers.

 

Leah is the lady bug on the far right, look at that air! Great Job, Leah!

All of the cousins with Nana and Papa B! Thanks for coming!

 

Our good friends! Tumbling just wouldn't be the same without them for OH so many reasons!!! So glad to share this night with them!

 

What a great time! Hope you enjoyed the pictures... we sure enjoyed the show!  
 

Blogging

As time has proven, I am not a blogger. That doesn't mean I don't think about this blog every once and a while. While I am sure no one even reads it anymore. I still think it may be fun to post on here every once in a while. So a Recap of our life over the last year and a half... yeah right. There is not much hope of going backward- forward is the direction that suits me best. The important thing is that we are all healthy, lovin life and doing just fine. It wouldn't be the rampage if there wasn't some added excitement here and there, but we are making it just fine! Who knows what the future holds. Hopefully more than one blog post for the next year and half but one just can't promise!