Friday, September 13, 2013

The Path

I realize that this blog used to be just cutsie stories about my family and pictures. Well that didn't work too well. See: four posts in the last two years. However, lately random blog titles have been popping into my head and I figure, I have a blog, why not write down the post that goes with the title. Viola! See: four blog post in the past four months (so far with none of the titles that initially popped into my head being used!). Now I ain't promising anything, but this is working as an outlet for me right now, so we will ride that wave. I have come to realize that wanting to write a blog is not the same as wanting people to read a blog that I write. If people read what I write, bonus!

So back to the title in my head:

I have my good days and my bad days. With my good days normally lending themselves to thinking about how I felt on my bad days and my bad days lending themselves to wishing I was having a good day. I have to remember that my days aren't good days or bad days, they are just MY days. Its just that when my days are hard, I seem to think that every day is going to be hard. That this is my life. And I am just a crabby person. Who is lazy. And doesn't like children. Who is a terrible mother. And I will always be like this from this day forward, for the rest of my life, the end. On the days that go smoothly, especially if "a good day" comes after having a "bad day"(which it seemingly always does) I think, now don't you feel silly for thinking that you will never be a productive/happy/loving/good mom ever again. The trick is, I tell myself, to REMEMBER on my bad days that I did once have a good day, and I will once again have a good day.Then my bad days won't be so bad.  But I am beginning to see that my days aren't divided into good days and bad days, they just are my path.

I read an obituary recently that said "...may you always remember that obstacles in the path are not obstacles, they ARE the path." My sister has said this to me a couple of times as well. This begs the question, what is the path and where is it leading. For me this answer is simple. The path is this life that I live and it is leading me to heaven and sainthood. Patrick Coffman from Catholic Answers has a tag line, "Be a saint! What else is there?" My good days can often fill me with pride and my bad days can often fill me with despair. So the trick I must really REMEMBER is not to just get through my bad days to get to my good days. And not just think about how awesome I am on my good days, and ponder how to avoid at all cost having a bad day. But to see each day as a part of the journey. Each day can offer something to me to help me reach my fullest potential and be the person I am supposed to be (a saint!). Whether that is joy and humility (good day) or  suffering and self sacrifice. All of these qualities are good and will lend themselves well as I proceed along my path.

Oh and another thing- acceptance is key. If I can, on my bad days, just accept the fact that I am having a hard day and change my course of action I will, ultimately, be better off. If on a harder day I pull an audible, if you will, do something different than my plan; put in a movie, splurge for ice cream or pizza (or both), I will  be far better off than if I just charge ahead come what may. Because if this obstacle that I see (my bad day) is really the path, and I am really giving my life to Christ, then he planned this day for me. It is a gift just like every other day I have, so I better use it for his glory. And wishing it away, or making it something it is not does not sound like using it for his glory. Pizza however, that does sound glorious!

While it is easier to see my good days as the path and not an obstacle, that doesn't make everything that happens on a good day worthy of praise. In fact, it is often said Pride goes before the fall!  Proverbs Chapter 16:18-20 "Pride goes before disaster, and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be humble with the meek than to share plunder with the proud. He who plans a thing will be successful; happy is he who trusts in the LORD." No wonder my good days are often followed by bad! HA!  So if I can, on my good days just accept with joy the gift of the day and make my best use of it to his glory (who knows, that might mean pizza too) then maybe I will begin to see my days as just the path and not obstacles in it.

While I am sorry that I didn't post any cute pictures for your viewing pleasure, I did post plenty of links for your reading enjoyment!!