Sometimes life gets a little out of control. I get that. It has been out of control at my house for several years. Yep, you read that right, several. That means many. Exactly how many, well I am not quite sure- see the part about being out of control. Working pretty much full time for friends and family while at the same time housekeeping and homeschooling really made my life just crazy . If you know anything about me, you know I like to be in control, to have it all together. So yes, I was very stressed and had become a bit of what I like to call "monster mommy". So after eliminating everything except the homeschooling and housekeeping I figured out something interesting... I was still stressed and my life still felt out of control and I was still monster mommy. I actually asked Tim if I could hire a maid. You can about imagine his response. "Really?!?!" Or something to that effect. After I stewed about how insensitive to my needs he was, I realized he was right. There really wasn't anything more I could eliminate. That eliminating things wasn't the solution. It hadn't helped and it wasn't going to help. I could take away everything but until I just surrendered to my situation I was still going to find something to be stressed about.
So in the past few months I have realized that I am stressed mainly because of two things. My kids aren't perfect. I am not perfect. And instead of continuing to expect perfection out of them and me, I realized I just need to change my expectations. Afterall, expectation is the greatest killer of joy! With the changing of my expectations I have realized two things. I am not nearly as stressed and I am no longer monster mommy. My kids are still not perfect, but they aren't monsters either. Just because I don't expect perfection doesn't mean we aren't striving toward being the best people we can possibly be.
It has been refreshing not living life constantly stressed and always a moment away from break down. I am so thankful for friends and family that have helped me through some tough times over the past few years. As we look to embark on a new year, I really don't know what the future will hold. I do know that I will curb my expectations and be thankful for this life God has gifted me. To quote a recent blog post I read- it doesn't get any better than this! You can keep the expectations, I will take the JOY!!!!